My Imaginary Friend

You are a figment of my fantasy
A vapid imagining, a wish, a dream,
An ideal, parallel to reality.
I’m in awe at the depth of my feelings,
My yearning to see, hear you, has not quelled with time
These feelings counteract logic,
You exist in the corners of my consciousness, lurking
On the fringes of my thoughts, there.
A constant in my sentimental contemplations,
My silly school-girl swooning.

You are shrouded with questions,
Of wondering, whys and what ifs
I wish reality was present to challenge the whimsical fantasy,
My mind has given you virtue, attributes, life; undeserved.
I try to ignore, I try to forget
But so strong is the ghost of memories bittersweet,
Intangible, lingering; there, but not.
I want the fact to defeat the fiction
My mind has put you on a pedestal, perfect.
And now worships you, fantasy.
The subconscious standard used to measure others,
What I wouldn’t give to free my mind from your shackles!
Your ghost is an imbalanced, biased version of the truth,
Warped and demented by naivety, time and romantic delusions
I long for release
It haunts me, taunts me,
Nothing else can quite measure up.

When I’m awake you plague my thoughts,
You intrude on my dreams in sleep.
So great is the passion with which I both love and hate you!
I am a prisoner to memories and imaginings of you,
Your apparition holds me captive.

I long to see you, to shatter this perfect picture,
I want the fantasies to end,
Come, return romanticized reveries into reality;
Whatever that may be.

- By Lauren Brooking
2007