You are a figment of my fantasy
A vapid imagining, a wish, a dream,
An ideal, parallel to reality.
I’m in awe at the depth of my feelings,
My yearning to see, hear you, has not quelled with time
These feelings counteract logic,
You exist in the corners of my consciousness, lurking
On the fringes of my thoughts, there.
A constant in my sentimental contemplations,
My silly school-girl swooning.
You are shrouded with questions,
Of wondering, whys and what ifs
I wish reality was present to challenge the whimsical fantasy,
My mind has given you virtue, attributes, life; undeserved.
I try to ignore, I try to forget
But so strong is the ghost of memories bittersweet,
Intangible, lingering; there, but not.
I want the fact to defeat the fiction
My mind has put you on a pedestal, perfect.
And now worships you, fantasy.
The subconscious standard used to measure others,
What I wouldn’t give to free my mind from your shackles!
Your ghost is an imbalanced, biased version of the truth,
Warped and demented by naivety, time and romantic delusions
I long for release
It haunts me, taunts me,
Nothing else can quite measure up.
When I’m awake you plague my thoughts,
You intrude on my dreams in sleep.
So great is the passion with which I both love and hate you!
I am a prisoner to memories and imaginings of you,
Your apparition holds me captive.
I long to see you, to shatter this perfect picture,
I want the fantasies to end,
Come, return romanticized reveries into reality;
Whatever that may be.
- By Lauren Brooking
2007
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder
Blonde, skinny, blue eyes,
The Aryan dream
Doesn’t really matter
What’s on the inside
That parts unseen
She’s the trophy,
Yea, she’s the prize.
‘You are what you eat’ they say
She must be nothing,
Just empty, full of fluff and stuffing
Is this the ideal?
This what you want us to be?
Blonde Barbies
Who only look intelligent
With a script on TV?
What you gonna do?
Dress her up?
So you can rip it off
Then insert you
Can you insert a brain too?
Doesn’t really matter does it?
Brains don’t turn you on,
You’d much rather go
For one of the morons
Easy picking,
Finger licking
Later flicking
For the next one
No waiting round
You’re off like a gun
Sallow, mellow,
Excuses, excuses
You’re just shallow
As thick as a puddle
…As thin as a whistle
That’s how you like them,
That’s what does it for you
And just like the wind
You shoot right through
There one moment,
Gone the next
You left satisfied?
Was she really the best?
O no, wait, there’s still the rest
Of the bimbos
And blondes alike to do
You’ll never know
Until you screw all of them too!
Trust your lust,
They tell you,
‘Listen to your heart’
Give you a little hint:
Your heart doesn’t have a mouth!
You silenced it
That little voice is coming
From a little further south!
Look, listen to yourself
You’ve fallen hook, line and sinker
Into their trap
You’re another unthinker
Just look, want and chase
‘Look at that ass!’
Try looking at her face!
‘Wonder if she’s wearing silk or lace?’
There goes another personality
Gone to waste!
Just another tip;
You won’t find 3D women
In Playboy, Penthouse or Ralph
Careful use of airbrush and hairbrush
Make normal women look like ALF
Was Hitler really so wrong?
Killing people for real…
Is that better or worse
Than them killing themselves
To live up to an ideal?
Hitler might be dead
But the 3rd Reich lives on instead
Reporters, deporters, distorters
All have this image
Of the perfect woman,
They broadcast it everyday
In everyway, 24/7
We’re bombarded
With what we’re not
Then we think
We’re beautifully retarded
Seductress, enchantress,
But what about those
Who look like Loch Ness?
Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder?
I’d say beauty’s in the eye of the
be-moulder.
Written in 2004, age 17, after a rather horrible encounter with someone who said my boyfriend would dump me if I too many more chocolate biscuits.
The Aryan dream
Doesn’t really matter
What’s on the inside
That parts unseen
She’s the trophy,
Yea, she’s the prize.
‘You are what you eat’ they say
She must be nothing,
Just empty, full of fluff and stuffing
Is this the ideal?
This what you want us to be?
Blonde Barbies
Who only look intelligent
With a script on TV?
What you gonna do?
Dress her up?
So you can rip it off
Then insert you
Can you insert a brain too?
Doesn’t really matter does it?
Brains don’t turn you on,
You’d much rather go
For one of the morons
Easy picking,
Finger licking
Later flicking
For the next one
No waiting round
You’re off like a gun
Sallow, mellow,
Excuses, excuses
You’re just shallow
As thick as a puddle
…As thin as a whistle
That’s how you like them,
That’s what does it for you
And just like the wind
You shoot right through
There one moment,
Gone the next
You left satisfied?
Was she really the best?
O no, wait, there’s still the rest
Of the bimbos
And blondes alike to do
You’ll never know
Until you screw all of them too!
Trust your lust,
They tell you,
‘Listen to your heart’
Give you a little hint:
Your heart doesn’t have a mouth!
You silenced it
That little voice is coming
From a little further south!
Look, listen to yourself
You’ve fallen hook, line and sinker
Into their trap
You’re another unthinker
Just look, want and chase
‘Look at that ass!’
Try looking at her face!
‘Wonder if she’s wearing silk or lace?’
There goes another personality
Gone to waste!
Just another tip;
You won’t find 3D women
In Playboy, Penthouse or Ralph
Careful use of airbrush and hairbrush
Make normal women look like ALF
Was Hitler really so wrong?
Killing people for real…
Is that better or worse
Than them killing themselves
To live up to an ideal?
Hitler might be dead
But the 3rd Reich lives on instead
Reporters, deporters, distorters
All have this image
Of the perfect woman,
They broadcast it everyday
In everyway, 24/7
We’re bombarded
With what we’re not
Then we think
We’re beautifully retarded
Seductress, enchantress,
But what about those
Who look like Loch Ness?
Beauty’s in the eye of the beholder?
I’d say beauty’s in the eye of the
be-moulder.
Written in 2004, age 17, after a rather horrible encounter with someone who said my boyfriend would dump me if I too many more chocolate biscuits.
Life After Death
Is there life after death?
Anything left after
Their last breath?
Mesmerized, hypnotised
Dazed, crazed
Dealing with feelings
You didn’t know
You could feel
How could reality
Seem so surreal?
There’s now nothing
To separate fiction
From non
How does the rest of the world
Keep going on?
Something’s missing
Something’s gone
Irreplaceable, irretrievable
And with that something,
Some of you
Was lost too.
The Earth is still spinning
The moon waxes and wanes
As does your pain
The sun continues to rise
Each morning, as do you
Even though
You don’t want to
On the outside
Everything remains the same
But inside
You feel disconnected
And content to stay that way
Day after day
Unnumbing would be
Coming to grips with,
Accepting what you
Feel like rejecting
You’re still expecting
That pinch to wake you
From this nightmare
You fear to feel again
You can’t bear the strain
You’re under from the pain
It’s easier
To deny, to defy
That to identify
“It’ll be soon,
It won’t be long,
Til I can breathe again,
Til the weight
On my chest is gone”
You tell yourself
You have to have hope
You have to believe
Without it,
There would be
No reprieve
From the grief.
Yes, he is gone
And yes, it does seem wrong
- His stay wasn’t very long –
But hold on
There is still life after death,
You still have breath
Make the most
Of what you have left!
Life lived goes fast
And you never know
When it’s going to
Be your last.
Anything left after
Their last breath?
Mesmerized, hypnotised
Dazed, crazed
Dealing with feelings
You didn’t know
You could feel
How could reality
Seem so surreal?
There’s now nothing
To separate fiction
From non
How does the rest of the world
Keep going on?
Something’s missing
Something’s gone
Irreplaceable, irretrievable
And with that something,
Some of you
Was lost too.
The Earth is still spinning
The moon waxes and wanes
As does your pain
The sun continues to rise
Each morning, as do you
Even though
You don’t want to
On the outside
Everything remains the same
But inside
You feel disconnected
And content to stay that way
Day after day
Unnumbing would be
Coming to grips with,
Accepting what you
Feel like rejecting
You’re still expecting
That pinch to wake you
From this nightmare
You fear to feel again
You can’t bear the strain
You’re under from the pain
It’s easier
To deny, to defy
That to identify
“It’ll be soon,
It won’t be long,
Til I can breathe again,
Til the weight
On my chest is gone”
You tell yourself
You have to have hope
You have to believe
Without it,
There would be
No reprieve
From the grief.
Yes, he is gone
And yes, it does seem wrong
- His stay wasn’t very long –
But hold on
There is still life after death,
You still have breath
Make the most
Of what you have left!
Life lived goes fast
And you never know
When it’s going to
Be your last.
A Spark that Binds Two Hearts
Eyes meet from across a room
And across the world
A conversation starts
And sparks fly
Who would’ve known
It would bind two hearts?
Each enticing out of the other
Smiles, laughter, and love
Across the miles
That love has endured and grown
Talking and travelling
Across the Tasman.
Today they embark on the greatest journey
Deciding that their paths
That crossed so coincidentally
Will now continue side by side
Arm in arm, life entwined together
So whatever life may bring
Whatever joys and troubles
Come your way
May you pause,
And affectionately ponder this day
The pledges made to love and cherish,
To have and to hold,
To know and to grow each other
And with that pondering, remember
The magic, the first time your lips met,
The romance, the sweet nothings,
The passion, the patience, the love
Together, the miles you’ve already come,
And the happiness,
Which initially inspired this grand step
Let your remembering give way to dreams
Of what your love could grow to,
Of where this life together will lead,
Of what adventure will come next!
Of holding hands when you’re 80
And smiling at each other with toothy grins
So today, note the sparkle
In Claire’s eyes
As she walked down the aisle
The grin covering Grant’s face
As he said ‘I do’.
And as you set out on this
Adventure called marriage
May God bless you
And may you always
Fan the flame of your love
So what the sparks started so long ago,
Across that room
Will become an inferno blazing
Showing the world
What love is really like
And how what you share
Is special, unique
And amazing.
By Lauren Brooking
Written for Claire Adams and Grant Coleman, who declared their love for each other and married on 4 April 2009
Friday, March 25, 2011
Breathe
Inhale, exhale
Breathe
In - hold - out
Just breathe
Drink deeply of the gift of air
Fill your belly
Fill your lungs
Lift your arms
Shake. Shake it out
Let it relax your body and soul
Breath is life, essential, needed
Taken by surprise, breath is impeded
At a sprint, lungs work fast
After diving, you're liberated by a gasp
So simple, yet taken for granted
This one small thing, easily supplanted
Breathe in; breathe out.
Fill your diaphragm
A baby's first, a grandmother's last
Breath defines life, essential, needed
Inhale, exhale
In - hold - out
Puff, pant or panic
Draw long and low and let it out slow
Raucous snoring or wistful sighs
Soaring nigh breathless
Life is not only the breaths we take
But the moments that take our breath away
Breathe.
Enjoy, savour, delight
Long and slow, shallow and fast
As you never quite know
When it'll be your last.
Breathe
In - hold - out
Just breathe
Drink deeply of the gift of air
Fill your belly
Fill your lungs
Lift your arms
Shake. Shake it out
Let it relax your body and soul
Breath is life, essential, needed
Taken by surprise, breath is impeded
At a sprint, lungs work fast
After diving, you're liberated by a gasp
So simple, yet taken for granted
This one small thing, easily supplanted
Breathe in; breathe out.
Fill your diaphragm
A baby's first, a grandmother's last
Breath defines life, essential, needed
Inhale, exhale
In - hold - out
Puff, pant or panic
Draw long and low and let it out slow
Raucous snoring or wistful sighs
Soaring nigh breathless
Life is not only the breaths we take
But the moments that take our breath away
Breathe.
Enjoy, savour, delight
Long and slow, shallow and fast
As you never quite know
When it'll be your last.
Goodbye, for now.
This is a poem for Peter Keith Brooking.
Written in September 2010, before Jono moved into Peter's room.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
This is what we must say when one dies
I'm sitting where your bed used to be
Where so many hours were spent
I don't know how to form the words
To show how much you meant
Your presence lingers on the corners of my mind
Like a child playing hide and seek
You peek around with your knowing grin
A dimple in your cheek
Your life gone. It is no more
Left here is a gaping void
Swathed in sorrow
For which there is no cure.
Never again will my life be the same,
Because yours is gone.
Plagued by the need to know why
I know it's no one's 'fault', but surely,
Surely there's someone to blame?
Something towards which I can fire my wrath
My charged emotions are like clouds before a storm
The slightest provocation will bring about
Fantastical lightning and a thunderous roar.
Everything that surrounds me is a powerpoint
It plugs my memory and plays
Story after anecdote after laughable moment
After painful reverie
You are intricately intertwined, intangibly linked
To every integral object inside and out.
Unfathomable are the depths to which
Your mind must have taken you
Delving, diving, ever deeper
In the dismal depressive despair
That was immune to repair
I don't pretend to know or comprehend
The battle you daily fought
Horrible hopelessness usurping all else
Though I don't understand,
I feel like I'm in the middle of my
Own dark abyss
Of nothingness.
Written in September 2010, before Jono moved into Peter's room.
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
This is what we must say when one dies
I'm sitting where your bed used to be
Where so many hours were spent
I don't know how to form the words
To show how much you meant
Your presence lingers on the corners of my mind
Like a child playing hide and seek
You peek around with your knowing grin
A dimple in your cheek
Your life gone. It is no more
Left here is a gaping void
Swathed in sorrow
For which there is no cure.
Never again will my life be the same,
Because yours is gone.
Plagued by the need to know why
I know it's no one's 'fault', but surely,
Surely there's someone to blame?
Something towards which I can fire my wrath
My charged emotions are like clouds before a storm
The slightest provocation will bring about
Fantastical lightning and a thunderous roar.
Everything that surrounds me is a powerpoint
It plugs my memory and plays
Story after anecdote after laughable moment
After painful reverie
You are intricately intertwined, intangibly linked
To every integral object inside and out.
Unfathomable are the depths to which
Your mind must have taken you
Delving, diving, ever deeper
In the dismal depressive despair
That was immune to repair
I don't pretend to know or comprehend
The battle you daily fought
Horrible hopelessness usurping all else
Though I don't understand,
I feel like I'm in the middle of my
Own dark abyss
Of nothingness.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Nana's 80th Birthday Poem
For Betty Brooking
Written and read on 6 March 2011.
Lady turned eighty
Whether matey,
Mum or nan,
Most are a fan
What an amazing woman!
Grey yet gorgeous
So magnanimous
Beyond comparison
Full of compassion
Star of a mother
Thinking of others
Walking, active
Talkative
Informative
Story-telling
Palmy-dwelling
Early rising
Sometimes compromising
Bible-reading
Crowd feeding
Tender-caring
Wisdom sharing
God-fearing
Apron wearing
Card sending
Good defending
High flying
Gravity defying
Thrifty shopping
Penny pinching
Graceful aging
Seldom raging
Generous gifting
Good listening
Good looking
Good cooking
Fruit loaf mixing
Dinner fixing
Healthy eating
Mintie feeding
Routine keeping
Purple choosing
So good using
Flower smelling
Pansy loving
Green-bean gardening
Soil un-hardening
Gently watering
Love imparting
Sabbath-school teaching
Not much preaching
Paper reading
Granddad pleasing
Good listening
Always smiling
Easy going
Life giving
Go on living!
We're here to rave
About our fave
Evidently
Praiseworthy
Fabulous, great
Near or far
Much loved
Grandma.
Written and read on 6 March 2011.
Lady turned eighty
Whether matey,
Mum or nan,
Most are a fan
What an amazing woman!
Grey yet gorgeous
So magnanimous
Beyond comparison
Full of compassion
Star of a mother
Thinking of others
Walking, active
Talkative
Informative
Story-telling
Palmy-dwelling
Early rising
Sometimes compromising
Bible-reading
Crowd feeding
Tender-caring
Wisdom sharing
God-fearing
Apron wearing
Card sending
Good defending
High flying
Gravity defying
Thrifty shopping
Penny pinching
Graceful aging
Seldom raging
Generous gifting
Good listening
Good looking
Good cooking
Fruit loaf mixing
Dinner fixing
Healthy eating
Mintie feeding
Routine keeping
Purple choosing
So good using
Flower smelling
Pansy loving
Green-bean gardening
Soil un-hardening
Gently watering
Love imparting
Sabbath-school teaching
Not much preaching
Paper reading
Granddad pleasing
Good listening
Always smiling
Easy going
Life giving
Go on living!
We're here to rave
About our fave
Evidently
Praiseworthy
Fabulous, great
Near or far
Much loved
Grandma.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Run
Run John run
From your past
From your present
Keep running, fast
Run son run
Work or I'll beat you
Your mind and heart
Idleness, fun won't do
Run brother run
Jests, taunts and jibes
Chase you like dogs
So you run and hide
Run mate run
Go get that girl
She's a fox!
She'll rock your world
Run Jack run
Down the aisle
Sorted for life
All your need's a smile
Run hubby run
Off to work
Bring home the bacon
And its perks
Run ducky run
Make me proud
I've got home covered
Go wow the crowd
Run daddy run
Tag! Gotcha!
Teach them young
To run, chase and catch!
Run daddy run
All you like
It would be faster
If you got on your bike
Run daddy run
Try and keep up
You'll be sorry you missed us
When we grow up
Run fool run
Straight into the trap
Fell down so far
Only a miracle'd get you back
Run prodigal run
To the cross, to my arms
Run from the brokeness and sin
Come, rest easy, no more alarms
Run daddy run
To another country
Woman, job, life
There you'll be free?
Run John run
From your past
From your present
Keep running until the last
Run run run
Into your grave
To your lies
You were the biggest slave
Run son run
To Me, last chance you have
I'd help, I'd fix your mess
If only you'd let me save
- By Lauren Brooking.
From your past
From your present
Keep running, fast
Run son run
Work or I'll beat you
Your mind and heart
Idleness, fun won't do
Run brother run
Jests, taunts and jibes
Chase you like dogs
So you run and hide
Run mate run
Go get that girl
She's a fox!
She'll rock your world
Run Jack run
Down the aisle
Sorted for life
All your need's a smile
Run hubby run
Off to work
Bring home the bacon
And its perks
Run ducky run
Make me proud
I've got home covered
Go wow the crowd
Run daddy run
Tag! Gotcha!
Teach them young
To run, chase and catch!
Run daddy run
All you like
It would be faster
If you got on your bike
Run daddy run
Try and keep up
You'll be sorry you missed us
When we grow up
Run fool run
Straight into the trap
Fell down so far
Only a miracle'd get you back
Run prodigal run
To the cross, to my arms
Run from the brokeness and sin
Come, rest easy, no more alarms
Run daddy run
To another country
Woman, job, life
There you'll be free?
Run John run
From your past
From your present
Keep running until the last
Run run run
Into your grave
To your lies
You were the biggest slave
Run son run
To Me, last chance you have
I'd help, I'd fix your mess
If only you'd let me save
- By Lauren Brooking.
Welcome...
Aloha,
I have created this blog to keep an online record of my writing. I've heard the music soothes the soul, or music makes you lose control. Well for me, poetry is like sounding a trumpet. It can be as poignant and mournful as a dirge or it can swell your heart like a powerful symphony, it can flit like a flute or it can hammer like a drum.
I would expect anyone coming to read my blog would respect an artist's right to their own work, and should you want to share it for yourself, you'd check with me and then credit it accordingly.
So without further ado, here is one of my creations, enjoy...
Nobody's Fool
I can handle any tool, I can climb a ladder
I'm nobody's fool, I'll grapple with you
On any matter
Got a problem? Bring it on!
Wanna step outside? I'll dress you down
What do you want from me?
Bravado I can give
A good time, gentle sparring
I'll give you a laugh, and send you on your way
My heart, my soul, my core however
Are locked away
I'm nobody's fool boy
You don't know me, you can't have me
I'm not something with which you
Can fondle and toy
I'm not letting you in
Not even for all of your cheeky grins!
No. I shall stay distant and aloof
Controlled, coy, contained; caged
You can try and get in, but it's blocked
You'll never get through the locks
So here I am, safe inside
Voluntary solitary confinement
What was protecting has now imprisoned
The guard has locked herself in
To avoid heartache and chagrin
Only to discover loneliness
Abandonment and disappointment
Hearts, caged, ache too
Like parched plains crack
So too a parched heart breaks
She who stays aloof is a fool
Nobody's fool.
I have created this blog to keep an online record of my writing. I've heard the music soothes the soul, or music makes you lose control. Well for me, poetry is like sounding a trumpet. It can be as poignant and mournful as a dirge or it can swell your heart like a powerful symphony, it can flit like a flute or it can hammer like a drum.
I would expect anyone coming to read my blog would respect an artist's right to their own work, and should you want to share it for yourself, you'd check with me and then credit it accordingly.
So without further ado, here is one of my creations, enjoy...
Nobody's Fool
I can handle any tool, I can climb a ladder
I'm nobody's fool, I'll grapple with you
On any matter
Got a problem? Bring it on!
Wanna step outside? I'll dress you down
What do you want from me?
Bravado I can give
A good time, gentle sparring
I'll give you a laugh, and send you on your way
My heart, my soul, my core however
Are locked away
I'm nobody's fool boy
You don't know me, you can't have me
I'm not something with which you
Can fondle and toy
I'm not letting you in
Not even for all of your cheeky grins!
No. I shall stay distant and aloof
Controlled, coy, contained; caged
You can try and get in, but it's blocked
You'll never get through the locks
So here I am, safe inside
Voluntary solitary confinement
What was protecting has now imprisoned
The guard has locked herself in
To avoid heartache and chagrin
Only to discover loneliness
Abandonment and disappointment
Hearts, caged, ache too
Like parched plains crack
So too a parched heart breaks
She who stays aloof is a fool
Nobody's fool.
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